Truth: Consumed

Recently, I had a friend complain to me because I didn’t respond to her text message, and I had to be honest in saying that it got lost in the shuffle.  It’s a terrible excuse,but it’s the truth.  I have so many messages coming at me throughout the course of the day that I can read something, tell myself I’ll respond later, and then forget about it.  Because another message from someone else has come in.  And then another one.  And another.

I check Facebook and my three email accounts at least 20times a day.  I have Messenger, Snapchat, WhatsApp, Hangouts, Voice, and text messages calling out for me throughout the day.  A ‘ping’ here, a flash there – Sheth! Look at these messages now!  It’s urgent!  If I don’t reply immediately, my phone gently reminds me every 5 minutes that there’s someone awaiting my response.  Sheth! LOOOOOOK!

While this should make me feel important and needed – all these people and apps demanding my attention – it’s to the point that they’re nearly ruling my life.  These little applications have surreptitiously taken over how I live my life…truthfully, I feel like a slave to my phone.

I don’t do much of anything on Facebook.  I’ll post links to my blog, maybe make a humorous observation (they’re humorous to me), or maybe put up a photo of nature or my goofy face. This happens once, maybe twice, a week. The rest of the time I’m scrolling through gobbledygook (I don’t even ‘like’ that many things).  My time spent on other websites and apps consists of roughly the same effort – consuming and being consumed, but not contributing.

I definitely need to scroll through Facebook for the 14thtime today, but I don’t have the time to work on my world religions final.  I can check my burner email address four or five times today, but my schedule is packed to where I can’t possibly read a bit for my bible content exam.

I can reply to text messages and snaps a hundred times today,but I definitely don’t have time to make it to chapel.  I have to browse through r/dankchristianmemes for at least an hour, but I can’t possibly crack open the Bible because I don’t have the time.

How did my priorities flip like this?  When did it become so normal for me to be okay with this little screen taking up a large chunk of my time?  Why am I okay with doing this nonsense day after day?  It’s frustrating and discouraging, and still, I keep going back for more.

Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.  I’m half-tempted to delete some of them permanently.  I’m half-tempted to take a break from some of them.  I’m half-tempted to chuck my phone into the creek and walk away from it all.  Why do I do this?  Why do I feel like I need to check, to talk, to respond, to communicate, to consume?

I think it would do me some good to delete a few apps and have less communication points.  It would be useful for me to have less options, less ways, less information to get lost in.  It would be so nice to not have to feel the need to communicate…and look…and take in.  Maybe I should give myself the gift of deletion for Christmas and get rid of the things that are unnecessarily consuming me.

much love. sheth.

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