It can be easy to love others, and most often we are willing to love outside of ourselves. But loving ourselves can be a challenge for many of us. I’ve been working on flipping the Five Love Languages concept back towards myself and learning to love me. It takes work and practice, but it’s necessary to becoming all who we’re meant to be.
Words of Affirmation – How often do you tell yourself you’re good enough? How often do you build yourself up? Encourage yourself, build yourself up, tell yourself all the good things you see in you. Don’t be so negative or even neutral in your words to yourself. Listen to the good things others day about you, and repeat them to yourself.
Quality Time – How often do you spend time on yourself? When was the last time you spent time alone with you? Put down your phone, your books, your distractions and spend time on you. Give yourself the attention you deserve. Listen to your inner voice, listen to what you’re saying to yourself. Look at your dreams, revisit your hopes, make some plans for your future.
Receiving Gifts – How often do you buy something for yourself? When do you stop and treat yourself? Think about that one little thing that you know is unnecessary and maybe a little silly, but that you never buy for yourself. What keeps you from getting it? Occasionally take the time to get a gift just for yourself, something apart from the necessities.
Acts of Service – How often do you do things for you? Take the time to clean your home, build that bookcase, or repair the fence. Vacuum your car, spend some time volunteering, do some sewing, but do the things that you need done. Do not think of it as simply work, but as making your things and spaces better and cleaner and more organized for you so you can spend less time later worrying about it.
Physical Touch – How often do you receive touch? How often do you shy away from a hug from a friend, a goofy high-five, or a pat on the back? Safely keep yourself open and portray the willingness to be receptive to physical touch from family and friends. Embrace the embraces from others and enjoy the contact the world can give you.
much love. sheth.
Note: These initial concepts are taken from The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (Northfield Publishing, 1995) by Gary Chapman